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[Saturday
December 12th] |
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I wish you weren't who you are because I want to believe so much that we could work this out, I would give anything to go back in the past. But I start to believe what you are saying and then you prove me wrong every time. You have always been so good with your words but it's your actions that always contradict what you say. I wish you would have moved because at least then you would have the ability to change but these people will never let you grow.
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[Sunday
October 25th] |
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"If it were going to happen, it would have already happened. (Admittedly, even while I'm thinking this, I'm hoping it's not true. It's too simplistic, and when you apply the statement to almost any situation, frankly, it doesn't hold up. I mean, what does its not having happened yet have to do with preventing it from happening in the future? Nothing! Is it a predictor of things to come? Who knows! I don't want the statement to be true, of course. It's just true for now. That gets my hopes up, which just lets me down, so I need to stick with this thinking-you see.)"
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[Friday
September 4th] |
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Ewww Livejournal...why did you have to go and put advertisements up?
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[Sunday
August 23rd] |
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School starts tomorrow and I can't believe how nervous I am, I guess I know there is a lot riding on this year so I have to do well. Also, the Britney Spears concert is 9 days away and I am so excited I can't stand it. I think this is going to be a great year...we'll see.
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[Monday
July 27th] |
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I was reading my past entries and I can't believe how miserable I was, its nice to look back and realize how far I have come.
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[Monday
July 20th] |
I'm strong
But I break
I'm stubborn
And I make plenty of mistakes
Yeah I'm hard
And life with me is never easy
To figure out, to love
I'm jaded but oh so lovely
All you have to do is hold me
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be
If you'll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe
Someday
When we're at the same place
When we're on the same road
When it's OK to hold my hand
Without feeling lost
Without all the excuses
When it's just because you love me, you let me, you need me
Then maybe, maybe
All you have to do is hold me
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be
If you'll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe
I'm confusing as hell
I'm north and south
And I'll probably never have it all figured out
But what I know is I wasn't meant to walk this world without you
And I promise I'll try
Yeah I'm gonna try to give you every little part of me
Every single detail you missed with your eyes
Then maybe
Maybe, yeah maybe
One day
We'll meet again and you'll need me, you'll see me completely
Every little bit
Oh yeah maybe you'll love me, you'll love me then
I don't want to be tough
And I don't want to be proud
I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found
I'm not lost
I need to be loved
I just need to be loved
I just want to be loved by you and I won't stop 'cause I believe
That maybe, yeah maybe
Maybe, yeah maybe
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[Sunday
July 19th] |
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I remember when I was a kid I used to dream of flying a lot. You grow up and all kinds of hardships get thrown on your shoulders and you don't dream of flying anymore.
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[Thursday
June 18th] |
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How much longer to I have to wait to have this figured out?
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[Thursday
June 11th] |
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I need a change, new people in my life. Would be very nice right now.
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[Sunday
June 7th] |
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I have been thinking a lot about death and the afterlife, I don't know why but the thought seems to never go away. I guess everyone and me are growing up and im finally realizing this life isn't forever. Very scary.
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[Saturday
May 23rd] |
Its not about the big picture, it never is. Its about the moments in between. We take it for granted everyday. We forget that tomorrow isnt a guarnatee nor a promise, just a possibility. But still we fight with the ones we love, complain about the little things that will not even matter in a days or months time. We forget to soak in the moments, the moments that could change our lives if we would just let it. We forget to listen, instead we are to busy thinking about our reaction. And sometimes, we forget to thank. This is it, this is life, nothing is better than it, so smile and forget about the people who want to put you down. This is your life, be free and remember tomorrow it could be all gone.
RIP Grillo.
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[Wednesday
May 20th] |
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You go through everday with the scars that life have left on you. Waking up every morning not realizing they are there. And then one day, someone sits next to you and points them out, and you realize that half of your story is showing on your flesh.
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[Sunday
April 26th] |
Im very confused on what to do considering the future.
Oh man oh man.
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[Thursday
April 16th] |
I am very excited about this weekend, more than I can could even say. oh maaan...
Im in such a good place right now. :)
Hopefully it gets even better in the next few months.
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[Wednesday
April 15th] |
One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.
The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.
Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.
"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"
"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.
"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"
Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"
"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"
"Alright then...how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.
"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"
So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.
Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.
"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"
The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.
"I could not help myself. It is my nature."
Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.
Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...
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[Tuesday
April 14th] |
I usually dont do this but there something I need to say...and yes this post is for you.
You say your miserable but you were the one who burnt us to the ground.
supposedly you think you see my car everywhere, when Im not even in that part of town.
The last time you try to get a hold of me was for an outragous reason, so why would I have answered anyway?
Maybe you are too stubborn to admit anything is wrong...who knows.
But I want you to know, I will never hate you. Im hurt by you for everything you did. But I do not hate you or resent you. and Im not bitter anymore. Im in a really good place and sometimes I do think of calling you, but Im to stubborn to call.
And I wish you nothing but happiness in life and that you get everything you have ever wished for. I hope you do change the world one day.
And it hasn't changed since high school...I will always be your biggest fan.
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[Tuesday
April 7th] |
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If you have something to say... why don't you call or matter of fact, make the effort to see me. Its really not that hard.
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[Saturday
April 4th] |
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Please believe that things are good with me, and even when they're not, they will be soon enough. And I will believe the same about you.
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[Tuesday
March 31st] |
I start training today and im a little bit nervous.
I am so close to finally having all my debts paid off for school and my credit card.
and Im lookiing forward so much to the next few weeks.
Im pretty happy right now. :)
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[Wednesday
March 25th] |
I had a very amazing day.
"Its flawless, its really something...it's fearless."
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